


Hang up the Telephone

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bad Jokes, M/M, Pizza, classic wrong number au, i have no idea what im doing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-02-28 15:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2737343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this is a classic wrong number au because i have no originalality and i had a sudden surge of inspiration</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blinking light and dial tones...

Chapter One: Blinking light and dial tones.

 

Received: +6178181766  
(8:41 am)  
Hey!!! Next time you stay at my house don’t drink all the milk you asshole! Now I have no milk for coffee!!! >:(

Sent: +6178181766  
(8:46am)  
Uhmmm sorry? Wasn’t aware I stayed… think you might have the wrong number mate…

Received: Milk Misser?  
(8:48am)  
Shit! Sorry! I take it youre not Louis then?

Sent: Milk Misser?  
(8:48am)  
Fraid not. But I hope you get your morning coffee

Received: Milk Misser?  
(8:50am)  
Me too mate me too….

Received: Milk Misser?  
(2:31am)  
What should I get on my pizza for toppings? Cheese and Bacon or Cheese and peparonni? 

Sent: Milk Misser?  
(2:35am)  
Why the fuck are you texting me at 230 in the morning?!?!?!?!?!!!

Received: Milk Misser?  
(2:36am)  
Cause im hungry so im ordering pizza and I duno what to get on it. Becon or peparonni?

Sent: Milk Misser?  
(2:38am)  
why not both?

Received: Milk Misser?  
(2:40am)  
BRILLIANT!!!! THANK YOU CELLPHONE STRANGER!!!! <3 <3 <3

Sent: Milk Misser?  
(2:43am)  
Now why did you text me and not your friend Louis?

 

Received: Milk Misser?  
(2:45am)  
Cause he’s asleep like all my other friends. It is a Tuesday night ya know.

Sent: Milk Misser?  
(2:46am)  
AND YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN’T BE!!! I HAVE CLASS TOMORROW!!! 

You are such a dick

Received: Milk Misser?  
(2:48am)  
WELL I DIDN’T KNOW THAT DON’T YELL AT ME !!!!

Sent: Milk Misser?  
(2:50am)  
YOU WOKE ME UP!!!

Received: Milk Misser?  
(2:51am)  
IM SORRY!!!!!!

Sent: Milk Misser?  
(2:53am)  
I have a fucking 8am class tomorrow your apology means nothing to me

Received: Milk Misser?  
(2:55am)  
who goes to class at 8? Just skip like I do when its that early

Sent: Milk Misser?  
(3:00am)  
I hate you so much right now! I cant just skip!

Received: Pizza asshole  
(3:02am)  
why not? Missing one class wont hurt

also my pizza arrived and you were right both is yum yum in my tum

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(3:05am)  
I hope your pizza was fucking worth it! God Mr McKinnie is gonna hate me

 

Received: Pizza asshole  
(3:07am)  
It was worth it trust me and he wont hate you for missing one class just ssay you were sick :P 

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(3:08am)  
god youre a bad influence already

goodnight pizza asshole

Received: Pizza asshole  
(3:11am)  
goodnight topping student :*


	2. Chapter Two: Oh! Calamity!

Chapter 2: Oh! Calamity!

Received: Pizza asshole  
(10:27am)  
What music should I bring for my road trip?

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(10:30am)  
Why are you going on a road trip? It’s the middle of the year!! 

Received: Pizza asshole  
(10:31am)  
I want to cause uni sucks ass…. Im going with two friends what music? All my green day or all my all time low?

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(10:34am)  
why not both? Alternate between them, and if you have any good charlotte or foo fighters bring that as well.

Received: Pizza asshole  
(10:38am)  
YOURE A GENIOUS!!!!! Why didn’t I think of foos?

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(10:40am)  
cause you’re an idiot?

Received: Pizza asshole  
(10:42am)  
ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! Don’t think I like you anymore!!

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(10:43am)  
……..

Received: Pizza asshole  
(10:45am)  
That’s it? That’s your response? I was expecting cries of sadness or at least some tear emojis.

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(10:46am)  
….. 

youre a ridiculous person

just sayin

Received: Pizza asshole   
(10:50am)  
and he comes crawling back!!

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(10:52am)  
how do you know im not a girl? I might not have a dick mate

Received: Pizza asshole  
(10:59am)  
are you a girl?

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(11:02am)  
wouldn’t you like to know

Received: Pizza asshole  
(11:04am)  
yes I would actually

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(11:05am)  
good for you

also remember to take Fall Out Boy and Panic! At the disco. Its not a road trip with out them

;*

Received: Pizza asshole  
(11:08am)  
urg I hate you

Sent: Pizza asshole  
(11:08am)  
no you don’t <3

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Received: Foo fan  
(11:08am)  
no you don’t <3

Received: Foo fan   
(2:17am)  
hy have u lfet for ur raod triop uet????????

I thibk in beimg hit onn 

Help mw! A gorl is hirrin g on me!

Received: Foo fan  
(3:25am)  
[Picture image sent]  
[Picture image sent]  
[Picture image sent]  
[Picture image sent]

 

Sent: Foo fan  
(3:48am)  
how drunk are you right now?

Received: Foo fan  
(11:52am)  
HOLY SHIT IM SO FUCKING SORRY!!!!!

Sent: Foo fan  
(12:03pm)  
How bads the hangover?

Received: Foo fan  
(12:12pm)  
I feel like ive been hit by a triple decker bus doing 50000 miles

I think im dying

Sent: Foo fan  
(12:15pm)  
hey at least I know youre a guy now

Received: Foo fan  
(12:18pm)  
im so sorry!!! You probably really didn’t want to see me… like that!

Just delete them and forget it never happened

Pleeeeease

Oh god

Sent: Foo fan  
(12:21pm)  
alright I will

[are you sure you wish to delete (4) photos from your gallary]

done  
Received: Foo fan  
(12:27pm)  
thank you! I am so embarrased!

Sent: Foo fan  
(12:31pm)  
you shouldn’t be damn boy ;)

Received: Foo fan  
(12:43pm)  
oh my god im never talking to you again


	3. Chapter Three: On The Road Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> serenades and more idiots texting strangers continues!!! (sorry its so fucking short holy shit!!!!)

Chapter 3: On the road again

Sent: Sexy Foo fan  
(2:43pm)  
ON THE ROAD AGAIN!! SEE HOW FUN IT IS ON THE ROAD AGAIN!! THE LIFE I LOVE PLAYING LOUD MUSIC WITH MY FRIENDS HOW FUCKING GREAT IT IS TO BE ON THE ROAD AGAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Received: Sexy Foo fan  
(2:50pm)  
I take it you’ve started your road trip

And oh how wrong those lyrics are :/

Sent: Sexy Foo fan  
(2:53pm)  
yes I am and I know theyre the wrong lyrics dickhead

Received: Sexy Foo fan  
(2:56pm)  
Well youre nice today…

Sent: Sexy Foo fan  
(2:59pm)  
Im always nice to you baby ;)

Received: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:02pm)  
-.-

Sent: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:03pm)  
You know you love me

Received: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:03pm)  
-.-

Sent: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:04pm)  
Awe babe don’t be like that

You know you love me

I know you care

Just shout whenever

 

Received: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:05pm)  
How do you have friends?

 

Sent: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:06pm)  
And ill be there

You are my love

You are my heart

And we will never never never never never never never never never be apart!!!!!

Received: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:09pm)  
Seriously how do you have friends?

Sent: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:10pm)  
RUUUUUUUUDDDDEEEEE!!!

I serenade you and this is what I get?!?

Received: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:13pm)  
yes

-.- -.- -.-

 

Sent: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:15pm)  
Well your nice

Received: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:16pm)  
You serenaded me with justin bieber…

How can I not be offended by that?

Sent: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:18pm)  
Ok I serenade you with a good song then :D :*

Received: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:19pm)  
Go on….  
Sent: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:24pm)  
Here we go then

In the darkest night hour

I’ll searcch through the crowd

Your face is all that I see

I’ll give you everything

Baby love me lights out

Received: Sexy Foo fan  
(3:25pm)  
Beyonce is acceptable

That was sweet actually

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:27pm)  
Well you know me! Im always a gentleman

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:27pm)  
aaaaaaaand there it goes

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:29pm)  
you know you love me babe <3 :*

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Received: Backseat serenade  
(3:29pm)  
you know you love me babe <3 :*

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(3:30pm)  
you wish :* :*

Received: Backseat serenade   
(3:32pm)  
don’t deny it!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(3:33pm)  
oh fuck off  
Sent: Backseat serenade  
(3:56pm)  
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox 

 

 

 

(again sorry its short)


	4. Chapter Four: Since When Were You The Voice Of Reason?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more stupid texts, identities revealed and Louis interferes

Chapter 4: Since when were you the voice of reason?

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(2:38am)  
I cant sleep

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(2:41am)  
Why not?

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(2:43am)  
Dunno… overthinking I think

That sentence even looks weird…

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(2:44am)  
Well usually when im overthinking im worrying about something..

Anything bothering you

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(2:47am)  
since when were you the voice of reason?

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(2:48am)  
No idea to be honest

Seriously though anything the matter?

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(2:50am)  
I think my boyfriend is gonna break up with me soon….

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(2:53am)  
Why ya think that?

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(2:57am)  
Well he hasn’t spoken to me in 2 weeks and when he has talked to me it was to cancel our date

I think he mght be getting sick of me..

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(2:58am)  
Have you tried talking to him maybe?

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:00am)  
I tried getting a hold of him but he didn’t answer his phone

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:01am)  
do you guys go to the same uni? Could you ‘accidently’ bump into him?

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:03am)  
yeah I guess

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:05am)  
then do that tomorrow or when he has a class

and in the meantime get some sleep because most the time being tired doesn’t help when your sad

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:06am)  
ok :D thank you for talking with me…

just realised I don’t know your name…

goodnight x

 

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:43am)  
Ashton… my names Ashton

Goodnight xo

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(9:21am)  
WAKE UP ASHYPOO!!! THE BIRDS ARE A CHIRPING

THE STUDENTS ARE A BURPING

And I am bored  
Received: Backseat serenade  
(9:25am)  
I so regret talling you my name….

And “students are a burping” youre such an idiot

 

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(9:26am)  
and you love me for it <3

Received: Backseat serenade  
(9:29am)  
haha you wish

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(9:32am)  
ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude

Received: Backseat serenade  
(9:33am)  
you woke me up at 920 on a SATURDAY!!! And youre calling me rude?

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(9:35am)  
yes that is exactly what happened

Received: Backseat serenade  
(9:38am)  
not going to apologize? A sorry would be nice

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(9:43am)  
sorry im in class! Oh I have news about douche canoe

Received: Backseat serenade  
(9:46am)  
Douche canoe?

Wait you’re in class?

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(9:49am)  
My ‘boyfriend’.. turns out hes a cheating bastard so I threw his stuff out of my apartment and set fire to his clothes

And yes im in class I have classes on Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday and every second saturday 

Received: Backseat serenade  
(9:52am)  
jesus!! 

That was unexpected!

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(9:55am)  
so is walking into his apartment and finding him bottomed out in some other guy.

So I told him to never speak to me again and that hes not getting his cds or posters back

Received: Backseat serenade  
(9:58am)  
fair enough.. you okay?

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(10:00am)  
pretty ok under the circumstances yeah

hows the road trip

Received: Backseat serenade  
(10:02am)  
road trips great. Weve stopped at a small motel for the night cause everyone was too tired to drive

Sent: Backseat serenade  
(10:05am)  
fair enough

I have to go teachers getting suspicious

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:48pm)  
who are you and why are you talking to Luke?

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:50pm)  
I’m ashton, who are you?

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:51pm)  
I’m Louis, Luke best friend

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:52pm)  
OH the guy who drank all the milk! Youre the reason me and luke started talking

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:52pm)  
what do you mean?

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:54pm)  
he texted the wrong number (me) because he thought it was you and we started talking from there…

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:55pm)  
so you’re a complete stranger and Lukes just been talking to you since?

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:56pm)  
pretty much yeah

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:57pm)  
and how old are you may I ask?

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(3:59pm)  
Im 22 almost 23

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(4:00pm)  
well that’s ok, at least youre not some kind of old creepy man perverting on my best friend

Do you know how old Luke is?

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(4:03pm)  
not 100% but I know he has to be between 19 and 22 because he told me about uni and stuff 

Received: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(4:05pm)  
smart.. hes 20 at the moment but hes almost 21

Sent: Sexy Foo fan xo  
(4:06pm)  
thank you I think?

Received: Luke xo  
(4:18pm)  
im so sorry about Louis! He stole my phone while I was in the shower!  
Sent: Luke xo  
(4:20pm)  
nah its all good he obviously care bout ya luke

Received: Luke xo  
(4:22pm)  
yeah but hes over protective sometimes

Sent: Luke xo  
(4:23pm)  
its nice someone cares that much about ya though

Sent: Luke xo  
(4:26pm)  
yeah it is, I have to go cause Lou want to play fifa 

Received: Luke xo  
(4:27pm)  
have funn

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Received: Luke xo  
(1:02am)  
Good night Ash x

Sent: Luke xo  
(1:43am)  
Good night Luke x


	5. Chapter Five: Why Did I Agree To This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to make things less confusing:  
> Ashton is on a road trip with Jack and Alex from All Time Low and Zayn and Liam  
> Luke is friends with Calum, Louis and Niall
> 
> Michaels hair currently looks like this: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/13/bf/1a/13bf1ae57101aab578d8ba659ba40e15.jpg

Chapter Five: Why did I agree to this?

Received: Ashon :P  
(2:26pm)  
This road trip is shit

Jacks got us lost in the middle of fucking nowhere 

Sent: Ashton :P  
(2:30pm)  
How do you have service if you’re in the middle of no where?

Received: Ashton :P  
(2:31pm)  
fucked if I know to be honest

Sent: Ashton :P  
(2:34pm)  
So your friends gotten you lost..

Why don’t you use GPS

Received: Ashton :P  
(2:35pm)  
cause that qould be the smart thing to do…

why didn’t I think of that?

Sent: Ashton :P  
(2:37pm)  
Cause youre an idiot :D

Received: Ashton :P  
(2:39pm)  
shut up

ok we’re finding civilisation 

mission accomplished :D

Sent: Ashton :P  
(2:41pm)  
youre still an idiot

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:42pm)  
I know… 

Sent: Ashton :P  
(2:45pm)  
how long are you on your road trip for? Cause its been 2 weeks :P

Received: Ashton :P  
(2:46pm)  
Were starting to head back home now :D

Almost to sydney!!!!!

Sent: Ashton :P  
(2:49pm)  
you live in sydney??

Received: Ashton :P  
(2:52pm)  
Yep I sure do

Sent: Ashton :P  
(2:52pm)  
no way!!! Really??

Received: Ashton :P  
(2:54pm)  
really. Why are you so shocked?

Sent: Ashton :P  
(2:56pm)  
I LIVE IN SYDNEY TOO!!!

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:00pm)  
omg! That’s awesome! 

We should meet up sometime!

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:02pm)  
We should. I wonder if we’ve seen eachother before and havent realised…

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:04pm)  
its possible aint it

what uni do you go to?

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:05pm)  
University of sydney :P 

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:07pm)  
Me too. Though im currently not there. My friend Michael is though you’ll probably know him. Hes…. hard to miss

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:10pm)  
Michael? The one with crazy hair?

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:12pm)  
that’s the one

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:15pm)  
hes in my phyc class. He always walks in with a V or mother.. sometimes both

Recived: Ashton :P  
(3:16pm)  
that’s him, what colour hair does he have at the moment? He had bright red hair the last time I saw him

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:19pm)  
Last time I saw him it was this blue green mix… aqua kind of

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:20pm)  
HA! He ows me $20

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:21pm)  
why?

Recived: Ashton :P  
(3:23pm)  
because I bet him $20 that’ll he’ll dye his hair before I get back from my road trip

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:25pm)  
nice

how is your road trip almost in sydney?

 

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:30pm)  
yeap almost to my place actually 

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:32pm)  
that’s good, back to uni for you :P sucker

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:33pm)  
says the person that’s been at uni this whole time and has a class on SATURDAY!!!

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:35pm)  
shut the fuck up

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:36pm)  
haha luke had to suffer in uni! Luke had to suffer in uni!!

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:38pm)  
shut

the

fuck

up….

 

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:40pm)  
ok ok im sorry lukey-poo xxxxxxxxx :* <3

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:42pm)  
im not sure if I should accept your apology… 

but apology accepted you dork x

 

Received: Ashton :P  
(3:45pm)  
yaayy!! 

I have to go unpack but ill text you later Lukey 

 

Sent: Ashton :P  
(3:46pm)  
ok :D byee Ashey xx


End file.
